It took me a long time to appreciate that self-love is not about being selfish, getting your way, or being self-centred. Through self-reflection and a mindset shift, I have come to accept that loving yourself is a prerequisite to loving others.
Lisa Nichols- Motivational Speaker talks about “Your job is to fill your own cup, so it overflows. Then you can serve others, joyfully, from your saucer.” My take on this is that when you give from your cup there is underlying fear that it’s going to leave you short and therefore you give from a place of depletion, lack and resentment. When you give from your saucer, you give from a place of abundance, generosity and service.
There 3 the things you can do to practice self-love.
1.0 List Your Qualities
Make a list of your qualities, the good, bad and quirky. Take time to appreciate those qualities, after all they are a part of who you are and what makes you unique. Don’t skim over the negative attributes. Question if they are true, accept them or change them. Don’t let other people’s opinions dictate your value or self-worth.
2.0 Be Kind to Yourself
When you make a mistake do you beat yourself up with negative self-talk, self-criticism and self-judgement? Now ask yourself, if your best friend made the same mistake would you speak to them in the same way? You would be kind, compassionate and measured in your response. You also deserve this same response. Take time to congratulate yourself when you do something well. Give yourself a ‘selfie high five’. It will put a smile your face.
3.0 Take Time for You
Being a carer most of my life, this is one area I have personally struggled with. Do something that makes you happy. All work and no play leaves little time to have fun so it is important to indulge in your favourite hobbies. Don’t forget regular exercise, eating well and restorative sleep will also contribute to caring for yourself too.
Figure out what renews your cup? When are you in your flow and fully present? When does time stand still for you? Who uplifts and inspires you? What makes you laugh out aloud? Find more time to do these things and hangout with people who energise you.
When others see the love and care that you give yourself, they will notice the ways in which they can also better love and care for themselves.
“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.” – Lao-Tzu
Over To You
I would love to hear about what you do to cultivate self love. Leave a comment below.